The March Cake, Part II: The Hook

So how to begin with the caking making? Well typically I find it's best to start with an idea. LAME, I know, but it's true. Since this was my brother's 15th birthday, I decided I was going to try and make something that 'represented' him and his interest. Which naturally led to the question: what the hell does my brother like?

The answer to that question, dear reader(s) is: sports. The Junior Hare  is a big jock, so my first thought was to make a kind of amalgamated athletics cake, with different sports he plays or different teams he supports a la this cake, only a little less...holy.

This didn't pan out. Mostly because my brother is really only a fan of two sports (one of which is baseball) and one team, and that team is the Boston Red Sox. So instead of going with the whole sports theme, I decided to make a two-tiered cake with the bottom tier representing the BoSox (natch) and the top tier representing something else he's into like...I have no clue. So I picked up the ol' tellular cellophone and rang up my dad to ask him:

Me: Hey dad, what does my brother like?

Dad: He likes the Red Sox.

Me: I know that, what else is he into these days?

Dad: I don't know. He likes shoes. Why don't you make some shoes?

Me: Hmm...no. No shoe cake. What else?

Dad: He likes rap music. Can you do an Eminem cake?

Now at the time I thought this was the dumbest idea ever--how in the world do you make an 'Eminem' themed cake? Oh wait, here's how. I know I said I was going to bring dishonor on my ancestors, but that my friends, was never coming out of my kitchen, so I had to think of something else. In the end I decided that I was going to do the second layer in a manner that suggested Eminem. Yeah, yeah, I know, it still sounds like a pretty bad idea and if my stupid brother would just like Lost or something normal, I wouldn't have had to do it but those were the cards I was dealt and those are the cards I was going to have to play.

So to summarize:

+= Cake Concept

Yeesh.

Anyways, the next leg of our journey involves requisitioning the appropriate tools. I have a fair amount of baking paraphernalia already, but I needed a few extra things so I hit up my trusty NYC cake store, aptly named New York Cake. It's expensive, and they're surly and the customer service is terrible but if you're an amateur baker like myself then baby, they got what you need. I picked up a couple of things and, combined with my own not-unformidable arsenal, I assembled:

THE TOOLS OF THE TRADE

There you have an assortment of cake boards, stakes, spatulae, parchment paper (my bff), knives, pans, racks, pastry bags and nozzles, edible dyes, candles, and of course, about 20 pounds of fondant. From here on in Hattie gets the credit for the photography, and I will just say that Nigella Barker spent quite a little bit of time arranging these things in the most appropriately pleasing configuration on our dining room table. Just giving credit where credit is due.

As far as flavors go, I had talked to my brother and knew he wanted a Neapolitan (chocolate/vanilla/strawberry) flavored cake with the vanilla and chocolate manifesting as cake and the role of strawberry flavor being played by Ice Cream. I actually considered this idea for about five minutes and even did a little research (read:google image search) on tiered ice cream cakes, but after I scrapped that idea in a hurry. Instead I decided to make strawberry filling between the layers, basically a kind of homemade strawberry preserve. I didn't have a recipe so I kind of winged it, which in retrospect was probably completely retarded given this I wanted to at least start off like I knew what I was doing, but miraculously it actually worked out. Here is the March Hare's recipe for Fresh Strawberry Cake Filling:

-6 Quarts Strawberries

-All the sugar in the world

First hull and quarter all your strawberries, a-like so:

If you happen to be simultaneously watching The Millionaire Matchmaker so much the better. I'm not saying it necessarily improves the flavor, but it can't hurt.

Second, put your strawberries in a bowl and cover them with half the sugar. Let 'em sit like that in the fridge overnight while you contemplate early onset diabetes.

And that was how we ended Day 1 of Operation Death By Pastry. So far it seems not so hard, no? Don't worry, that's how I fool myself, too. Come back tomorrow to see me burrow even deeper down the rabbit hole (god, sometimes I'm so relevant it hurts)

Tomorrow: Bakin', Slicin', Stackin,' and Icin'