Definitions of Critical Importance

Recently, Marchie and I were having a discussion about what constitutes a dork (as opposed to a geek or a nerd). I call people dorks all the time, but in a loving way. At times I even consider myself a bit of a dork. But then I realized - I don't really know what a dork is. What would make me a dork as opposed to a nerd? Or a geek? I have my own vague notions of what all those things mean, but maybe they don't match up with universal standards. In my chats with Harester, I discovered that (surprise surprise) our conceptions of what makes a dork/geek/nerd match up perfectly. But still, if two brainmates agree on something that's not necessarily proof of its being true - we also agree that all Snorps are Snoops but only some Snoops are Sneeps, and who knows what the general consensus is on THAT question of grave import? At any rate, the Hare showed me a website she found which had a Venn diagram explaining the answer to this very question. (And who doesn't love Venn diagrams? Certainly not Marchie. I also happen to enjoy a good double negative, but that's a factoid for another day...)

I happen to disagree with almost everything this diagram says. 1) I think dorks are intelligent. Because I can be pretty dorky at times but clearly I'm the smartest person on earth. WOW that website is a trip. We may have to go super in depth into that at a later time... 2) Why is "obsession" an attribute here? I mean, pretty much everyone has some kind of obsession or other. (Mine happens to be crepes, but everyone has something. I think the TARGET of the obsession should be the defining factor.) 3) Why bring dweebs into this? You're just confusing things. In summary, this is wrong. Clearly I need to set the record straight. WHY do I have to do everything? Probably because I'm just better at everything than anyone else. Ever. This is such a burden, but what can I do? The world needs my help.

In my head (and therefore also in reality), nerds are people like Bill Gates - smart and knowledgeable about obscure topics (could be programming, role-playing games, sci-fi, etc.). Dorks such as myself are also smart, but this is combined with varying levels of social ineptitude. And geeks are not necessarily smart, but are defined by being socially handicapped and knowledgeable about obscure topics. (See Freaks and Geeks, Beauty and the Geek, etc.) The intersection of all three of these attributes is not labeled, because I don't know what the crap is going on with those people. I shall call them "doneeks." See below.

Let this matter be officially resolved. You're welcome, America.